KANT studios

We have all had those times. We work late into the night, and we just cant get enough sleep. Days are boring, and you cant wait for it to get over with, You play a game of chess, and you send your rook right out of the chess board. Move your pawn to protect your king, only to prick yourself on the chesspiece. Its a horrible day, and you know it. You abruptly keep the set, and head off to bed. Wait. We’ll provide you with 20 tips on how to keep awake.

Disclaimer: None of this article should be taken seriously. Except for this disclaimer.

1. Milo. Hot Milo.

And we don’t mean drinking it. That’s lame. Dunk it over your head so you’re dripping wet. Its abit chilly, but bear with it. Human technology is well, for lack of a better word, wanting. Hot Milo is about as easily available as it gets, so don’t complain.

2. Eat a Gecko live.

Note: I do not have an infatuation with Geckos. But Geckos rock anyway. Quote Joseph Hantona:

“Geckos are the best thing invented since er… 18.2 inch monitors”.

Now just to clarify, well to be honest, we have no idea what the heck the latter portion means. But that isn’t the point of the quote, its really the gecko that matters. Well, where the heck do i find a gecko in the middle of the night? PROTIP: that’s the part that keeps you awake. Not the eating. But don’t tell h- oh wait.

3. Practice drawing a perfect circle and a perfect square

You’ll find that that’s just about impossible. But if you try too hard, it becomes a procrastination excuse. That’s something we don’t want. So skip to 4. Anyway I realize that 20 is a teeny bit long for me. I’ll do 10, then i’ll copy and paste. You don’t have a problem with that.

4. Sing some opera loudly outside your house

That’s right, scream. Studies have shown that screaming for no apparent reason whatsoever outside your house will help to keep you awake by tensing you up for a beating to your ear drums and possibly, if you do not lock your doors, literal fisting. Don’t ask me what the non literal meaning of fisting is. I have no idea. But back to the topic, sing some good opera. That or play the violin that you’ve learn’t for 4 days. Its debatable whether it makes a difference whether the irritating qualities of sound a violin produces differs between a pro and an amateur, but that is regardless of the question. If all else fails, walk to a car and kick it. That will help to get some attention, at the very least. Then sing your opera.

5. 20 usability tips to help you keep awake.

Yep, you read that right. Think of how to write this article, then send it to me via email. Or a comment. I know what you’re thinking. “Isn’t this a teeny bit fast? Like, doesn’t this crap usually appear in the 19th or 20th points? Yep you’re right, that’s true. But i give up on writing 20th point, so this is the last point.

Now that we have shared 20 usability tips to help you keep awake, tell us what you think in the comments. Share with us your tips and how you keep awake at night. We’d love to know.

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